The Great Cooling Tower Retreat: When Democrats Discovered AI Doesn't Just Eat Data, It Devours Kilowatts
It is truly fascinating to watch political reality bend at the speed of light—or rather, at the speed of a rising household electricity bill. Once upon a time, in a geological era approximately six months ago, the Democratic Party held a simple creed: "A data centre in every village!" It was the Holy Grail. Jobs, the future, a weapon against China, and, above all, the joyful faces of construction unions getting to pour concrete over near-virgin nature.
Today? Today, everything is different. A revolution in polling preferences has launched a counter-offensive against the AI revolution.
Governors who, until recently, were tossing out tax breaks like flyers at a fair are now nimbly backpedalling. They strike poses as champions of the "ordinary person" who is shivering in the cold because the server farm next door sucked every bit of juice out of the grid. Let’s do a quick rundown—not that these characters really matter to us.
The Visionary’s About-Face
Take one visionary Governor who signed off on data centre tax breaks in the "pre-ChatGPT" era—the stone age of 2019. Chicago was supposed to become the Mecca of "digital breath" thanks to him. Then, something unexpected happened. Something no one could have possibly foreseen: people started getting their electricity bills.
As it turns out, keeping the lights on, heating the house, and simultaneously powering millions of GPU cores costs a bit of money. The Governor, being a man of action, pounded the table during his State of the State address and proposed a moratorium. It’s a brave move by a man who can now calmly say, "I stopped it!"—conveniently ignoring that his 2019 signature has been wreaking havoc in the meantime.
The "Formalisation of Expectations"
Over in Pennsylvania, they were boasting just last year that the state was "fully committed to AI." To a layman, that sounds like being "in over your head"—so deep you can’t see the way out. It took only a few neighbourly complaints about "backyard data sites" (imagine the gossip: "That new AC of theirs is a nightmare, it’s buzzing right into our windows!") for the enthusiastic promoter to transform into a stern, brow-furrowing regulator.
It’s no longer "come to us, we’ll give you everything," but "we will regulate you because I hear the voice of the people." That little phrase is a universal classic, even here at home. Of course, it’s not a change, as he explained to reporters on Friday; it’s merely a "formalisation of expectations." Oh, our local boys and girls know that dance well. Yes, the formalisation of the expectation that people generally dislike things that eat their power and hum behind their houses.
From Veto to Virtue
Then there’s the Governor, who not only signed laws removing bureaucratic hurdles but also vetoed a bill meant to assess the environmental impact of data centres in 2024. With a wave of a wand, this figure has suddenly become an eco-activist. Data centres must now jump through hoops to earn his support. Moving from "build anything, now!" to "meet these conditions first" is a leap larger than the energy consumption of a GPT-5 training run. Sure, we’re building wind turbines in the meantime—maybe we’ll plug the data centres into those. Along with a small nuclear reactor, most likely.
The Political Masterpiece
This synchronised dance—from "Yes, bring in the energy vampires!" to "No, I shall hold them at bay!"—is a political masterpiece. It’s a masterclass in bending reality so the politician always ends up on the "right" side of the barricade.
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When they were building, you were for progress and jobs.
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When the neighbours revolt: You are for regulation and consumer protection.
It’s a win-win, provided no one reminds you of your own signatures from two years ago. It reminds me so much of our own illustrious politicians. Though I haven't heard much about AI from them yet—neither from one side nor the other. But the "backflips"? Those are on the daily menu here, too.
The Pragmatist’s Alchemy
And then we have a true pragmatist in Kentucky. He proactively came up with a solution that paints him as a wise elder. His conditions are simple:
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Pay for 100% of your energy (a revolutionary idea: the consumer pays for what they use).
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Pay a fair share of taxes (meaning, don't exploit those generous subsidies everyone was offering yesterday).
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Be accepted by the community. That last one is the ultimate alchemy. Persuading neighbours that they want a windowless concrete monolith humming like a jet engine next door requires either genius or a sacrilegious bribe in the form of a new sidewalk. Which political party was it again that wanted to abolish all subsidies while simultaneously hooking up a high-powered pump to them in the meantime?
The Anxiety Phase
They say these are "early-stage anxiety" changes. Yes, people have AI anxiety. And this anxiety has materialised into giant boxes that drive up their heating bills. Politicians have caught the signal and are doing what they do best: running to the front of the crowd and pretending to lead it with a whistle around their necks.
It’s hilarious to watch the "Big Bet on AI" turn into the "Great AI Retreat" without anyone admitting they ever placed the bet. Please, I beg you, let the "famed educational methodologists" read this. Here, it’s not just about the money, it's about the words—though that cognitive decline will cost a fortune in the future.
It’s like a child sticking a finger in a socket and then being surprised by the jolt. In the physical socket, but also the mental one. The difference is that these "political children" and "methodologist toddlers" have armies of PR consultants to help them claim they were simply "testing the safety fuses" all along. And we, the voters, just stare, pay the higher bills, and applaud the Governors for finally deciding to protect us from the consequences of their own shortsightedness.
One more intellectual backflip, please!
The future is here. It’s cold, it’s noisy, and it seems we’ll all have to chip in for its maintenance. I wonder how it will look in our neck of the woods?